THE PRICE OF REVOLUTION
“JARASANDHA”
Translated
from the original in Bengali
by
BASUDHA CHAKRAVARTY
[The
story is set about a decade after the famous Chittagong Armoury Raid, when the Muslim
League was in power in the Provincial Government of Bengal. It is in the form
of a narrative by the author who was at that period a jail official.]
“How
do you like our place?” asked the Kaviraj. 1
“There’s
nothing to dislike about it,” I replied. “There are hills here, also the sea.”
But
nothing of anything in excess:” the Kaviraj added. “They are well mixed up with
the fields, trees and plants around. There’s nothing like this in Darjeeling or
Mussourie, you won’t get it even in Puri or Waltair. You will get it only here,
in this place, that is, Chittagong, which you call the land of the Maugs.” 2
So saying he picked up two firm pinches of snuff–from a peculiarly built box
and transferred them to his obtrusive nostrils. That brought to my mind’s eye a
very familiar scene, that of Gajandhar Singh, our magazine-sentry, loading his
rifle with bullets.
With
his reddish eyes raised straight at me the Kaviraj said suddenly as if in
rebuke, “Well, Sir, a group of boys and girls this very land of the Maugs
fought once like tigers against your British masters. That was no vegetarian
fight with the spinning wheel, it was a regular battle with the help of
bullets, gun-powder and guns. They gave up their lives, also took lives of
their enemies. Behind them all was an insignificant teacher of mathematics of a
school of this Chittagong. When the turn for revenge came, the British did not
forget him. As usual, they caught him and hanged him in your jail there.”
The
Kaviraj’s voice slowly relapsed into silence. He sat silently looking at the
darkness outside. After a while I heard again his soft,
sombre voice as if the words floating from a great distance. “Chittagong’s sun
set that day. His companions are rotting to their deaths in dark cells in the
place they call the Andamans, a thousand miles away from their country. Who
knows when they will return? Who can tell if they will return at all?”
A
few minutes passed without either of us saying a word and then the Kaviraj said
almost to himself: “Yet I must say, imprisonment has saved them. They were not
present here to see what a big price their country had to pay for that one
day’s daring adventure. You make much fuss of Jalianwalla Bag. But you do not
know how beastly was the repression a gang of monsters carried on from day to
day in every village and every town of this Chittagong. Not Dyers and O’Dwyers,
not foreign soldiers but people of your and my own race did it. Not one
householder of the Bhadralok 3
class could escape those beasts. The boys had the ribs of their chests ground
down, the girls lost what is woman’s greatest asset, their chastity. You, Sir,
have read histories of many lands.” The Kaviraj flared at me with a fierce
question, “have you found anything to compare with this? I know, freedom has a
price. But has any country, any race in the world, had to pay a price so
terrible as that?”
I
felt like being undone. What a question for the Kaviraj to ask, of all people,
me? I am a jail official. I serve under British rule and the Muslim League Government.
I had been tempted by the prospect of a lovely chat, to set foot into a
neighbour’s parlour just to while away the evening. Would I have ever come had
I known that I would have to face a cannon in human form? His sharp eyes were
still pointed at my face. I looked at them once, laughed drily and said, “Well
then, Kaviraj, Sir, what’s the position here regarding availability of fish?”
Fish!
That gave the gentleman a jolt. His gaze slowly came to be easy. His face lit
up with a glad, sincere smile. He repeated what had seemed to me to be the
process of putting gun-powder into a rifle, and said, “Did you ask about fish?
Of course, you can get it. You could get it of all kinds. Besides Chittagong
has its own offers to make: dry fish and the variety called Laitta. They are
delicious provided you could cook them correctly.”
“There
lies the difficulty,” I said.
“Why
do you say so?”
“Well,
Sir, to cook them they must be brought home.” “Where’s the difficulty in that?”
“I
could tell you if you won’t mind.”
“How
is that! Why should I mind! Out with it, please!
“As
I heard you people praise these things, I felt a little tempted. I went one day
to the dry fish market. I procured about half a seer of the commodity, had it nicely
packed and got back home. It was past ten at night. My wife was asleep. My plan
was for me and the doctor to take the Opportunity to light the stove at the
outer room and manage the business. No sooner had we taken the cooked thing out
of the stove than my wife made her appearance with her nose covered with a
cloth. She pointed towards the bundle and ordered ‘Throw it away half a mile
from here and wash your hands with soap at the Laldighi before you Come back.’
I scratched my back and asked ‘Haven’t you slept as yet?’ She took her
departure and said as she did so, ‘That smell would bring to life even the
dead–let alone, merely spoil my sleep’.”
At
this the Kaviraj burst into loud laughter. Then he said, “So that’s about dry
fish. What about the other thing?”
“The
other thing–you mean the Laitta? The story about it is even sadder. My servant
brought some of it on a leaf one day. What vomiting it caused in my wife! I got
the news at the office and rushed home. When she got a little better she said that
the man should be turned out that very day. ‘Why? ‘ I asked. She got mightily
angry and said, ‘Do you ask why? He has picked up something like phlegm from
somewhere and passed it off as fish. As if I cannot recognize fish’!”
The
Kaviraj said with some concern, “Is that the matter? Please wait a little. I
shall see you out of your difficulty”–so saying, he shouted towards the inner
house, “Minu, Minu, are you there.?”
A
reply came forth, I am coming, papa.”
In
about two minutes’ time, a fair-complexioned young woman stood before the door.
She looked bright of health and intellect. The Kaviraj said, “Minu, here’s your
uncle. Do Pranam to him. He is a great friend of ours. He is Gnan Babu’s
successor here.”
“I
know that,” so saying Minu came forward, touched my feet and did Pranam. She
added with a smile: “I am got known to aunt. Well, papa, uncle is a writer. He
writes very well.”
The
Kaviraj expressed surprise: “Is that so? Well, you, Sir, have so long told me
nothing about it. I see, you are a mango in disguise.”
“But
very sour,” I said.
“You
have not given us to know if it is sour or sweet. I have been chattering about
all sorts of things since evening and a full-fledged writer has kept all the
while silent.”
“Writers
do not talk, they merely write,” I said.
“And
they let inconsequential people talk and gather from that talk material for
their writing; is not that so?” so saying the Kaviraj laughed.
Minu
said, “Could anybody open his mouth in your presence? What a chatterbox you
are!”
“You
are quite right. Well, now about the matter I summoned you about. It won’t do
only to make friends with aunt, you must teach her to cook the sort of fish and
other things available in our parts. Before that, I mean as early as tomorrow,
you should invite your uncle and let him taste one or two of your preparations.
Well, Malay Babu, should you once taste curry of dry fish and fry of laitta cooked
by my little mother, you would never forget it in your whole life.”
“That’s
how you put it but your talk is always extravagant,” so saying Minu went into
the inner house but not before she told me, “Mind, you don’t go away, Kaka
Babu; I am bringing tea.
After
Minu left, the Kaviraj asked me, “How long have you been here?”
“About
a month.”
“Just
see the fun. We live in houses next to each other’s. Still we have known each
other only now. Even that has been possible because you did me the favour of
coming to see me. But look at them: see the position in which Minu and her aunt
are already to each other,” so saying the gentleman raised another storm of
laughter.
The
Kaviraj had spoken nothing but the truth. Women are always forward in getting
introduced and talking to each other. The reason for that is not that they are
more advanced than men in social courtesy or largeness of heart. The reason is
that speech is a thing which retires within in the case of men, while in the
case of women it flows out. We digest words, they emit them out. That is why in
family the woman talks and the man just listens. Women are uneconomical of two
things–money and talk: of the former, of course, when it is not of their own
earning.
Even
in the city of Calcutta you will find, for instance, a Bose and a Banerjee
living for twenty-five years next door to each other. Yet they have not made
themselves known to each other. Both of them, on return in the evening from
office, wear a mere twelve-yard cloth, put on a jacket over it and seated on
the platforms at the entrance of their houses adjoining each other, sip tea
obtained from the nearby stall, all the while piercing each other with their
eyes but avoiding to reach each other with their speech. But go to the roof.
The scene there is different. There Mrs. Bose and Mrs. Banerjee, after their
midday meals and afternoon toilets, stand beside their respective parapets and
exchange balls of past pulses, pickle and tobacco quids as well as tales of
family joys and sorrows.
Again,
suppose you are going somewhere distant by rail. You and your fellow-passenger
are sitting side by side all the twenty-four hours and without a word to each
other. Time sits heavily on you in spite of your having all but munched off one
of those unreadable novels available on the railways, having slept for a while,
sat yawning for sometime and seen the natural beauty of the rugged fields. You
desire to talk to each other but neither of you take the initiative to break
the ice. Now your wives are travelling in the ladies’ compartment adjacent to
yours. They have taken to each other at very first sight and look as if they
have known each other for a very long time. The train had crossed only two
stations before they came to the familiar and first person terms of addressing
each other. Both were then doing the talking, neither cared to listen. The roar
of the train had become submerged under the buzz of their united voices, On the
train stopping at the junction station you get down and shout to your wife,
“Get the things ready. Only two stations more.” You get no reply but hear your
wife saying to her companion with a smile, “Well, now you see, my friend, what
a busy body I have to live with. We have still to pass two stations before
getting down; but already I am asked to hurry up.”
The
companion said, “But my husband goes even one better. I shall tell you what
happened on one occasion…….”
Minu
brought tea. There were certain accompaniments. I said: “Better give me only
tea today. I shall take all the other things some other day. It does not do for
me to eat anything untimely……..
The
Kaviraj interrupted: “That’s O.K. Please take only what you like. Our Shastras
say no compulsion should be used over taking food. Well, wait a bit. It won’t
be right of you to take only tea. I shall give you something new to take along
with it.”
He
opened the almirah and placed on my dish two black objects of round size. “Do
you recognize what these things are?” Minu said. I observed the things a little
and said, “They seem to be black-berries. They are called Chhanabara at
Beharampur.4 But the preparations
there are larger in size.”
Both
of them laughed vociferously.
A
little abashed, I said, “Are they then sweets made of cocoanuts?”
“No”
the Kaviraj said. “It seems impossible to get on with you. These are pills of
Chyabanaprash: they add to one’s strength and guts and to the grace of one’s
features and also prevent the growth of phlegm” so saying he recited a
supporting Sanskrit Sloka.
Minu
said: “You did not like the refreshments I offered you. So now please take tea
with Chyabanaprash.”
“That’s
not a bad idea,” I said. “ Cha 5
and Chyabanaprash: the alliteration is nice.”
The
incident I shall now speak of, occurred some time later. It had become an
almost regular habit on my part to spend evenings at Kaviraj’s parlour. He was
an extremely companionable man. Endless were the varied experiences of his
life. Equally unique was the highly literary manner of his presentation. It was
then probably the month of Magh. The cold was intense. No less intense
was the talking party assembled since evening. Tea came along at intervals
accompanied by Chyabanaprash and other supplementaries. After it had been had a
second time Minu came to know if water for a third cup should be made ready. A
police officer entered the room at this stage. He occupied one of the chairs at
the front, looked at the Kaviraj and said, “Please excuse. I am disturbing you
untimely. Kindly send for your servant.”
The
Kaviraj was surprised and asked: “My servant! You mean Bipin? What could have
happened to him?”
“I
have to ask him about one or two matters.”
I
found it improper to tarry there. I said: “So now let me take my departure for
the day.”
The
Kaviraj said to that: “Why don’t you please wait a bit?”
He
had now a glum face and said to the police officer: “Is there a warrant or
something of that sort? Considering the times we are living in, nobody can be
trusted.”
“Please
call him once; I should then tell you the full story.”
The
Kaviraj directed his gaze to the inner part of his house and said, “Minu, send
Bipin here once.”
“Bipin
is not at home, papa,” Minu answered. “His mother is ill, he left for home by
the evening train.”
“Oh,
that’s why I have not seen the poor fellow since evening.”
The
police inspector smiled a little and said somewhat ironically, “How surprising!
Your servant took leave and went home and you know nothing about it!”
The
Kaviraj was frankly annoyed and said, “What’s there about it to cause surprise
in you? Movements of servants are usually known only to ladies of the family.”
“However,
our information is different. I want to conduct a little search of your house.
Here’s the warrant.”
The
Kaviraj’s face showed surprise. He said in a dry tone, “That’s O.K. Please do
it.”
The
police officer looked at me with inquiring eyes.
“Who
are you, please?”
I
introduced myself. The officer said eagerly, “You, Sir, being present, it would
help us if you stay with us a little as witness.”
Though
very reluctant, I had to agree.
We
entered within the house and immediately a thick line of constables’ red
headgears surrounding the outside of the house, caught our eyes through the
window. The ground floor was thoroughly searched. Then the whole of our party
climbed upstairs. There were three rooms there. The Kaviraj lived in the first.
The next room belonged to his son. It was vacant at the time. Its owner was
interned at some village in Birbhum. Both were searched according to rules. As
we reached the third room, the Kaviraj said: “My daughter lives here. Do you
want to search this room too?”
The
sub-inspector replied somewhat hesitatingly, “Sir, rather we should, since we
have come here for this purpose.”
“All
right. Minu, come out for a little while. They will search your room.”
Minu
stood at the door and said, “Why, papa?”
“They
want to see if Bipin is hiding somewhere here.”
Minu
remained standing where she was, and said: “We can’t allow
them to do what they please, papa. They may have nothing like feelings of shame
and delicacy. We have some honour and dignity left. What do
you say about it, uncle?”
Needless
to say, it was not possible for this uncle to give any answer to that question.
So I kept silent. The police officer gave the answer. He said: “Nor we have
bade good-bye to all shame and delicacy, Miss Sen. But is it not an act of
intelligence to be a little shameless and win one’s object than to be shy and
be cheated of success?”
“What
does that mean?”
“It
means you have to remove yourself from the door.”
“What
if I don’t move?”
“You
can well understand that in that case we shall be compelled to arrange to
remove you.”
“Well,
do that.”
She
spoke in an easy voice. There was not the slightest trace of heat in it. I
looked at the sub-inspector and followed his eyes to Minu’s face. The sight
gave me shiver. It seemed to me that I had never seen her before. It was no
girl but a burning flame. Hers was no soft body of a woman but a steely light
and resolution flashed out of its every limb. As I looked at it for a moment a
few words of fright came, unknown to myself, out of my mouth:
“No...no...”
But
that very moment I regained control of myself. I came forward and said in an
easy manner: “It does not seem the right thing to do, Minu. They have come to
search the house. They have got a warrant with them. You should rather not
stand in their way.”
Close
on my words the Kaviraj supported me: “Surely so; come away, my little mother.
Let them do whatever they like.”
It
seemed, Minu’s eyes had also regained their natural glance. She turned her gaze
on me, then on her father, left the door and went away.
The
sub-inspector entered the room with his whole party and to begin with, searched
the corners. They peeped behind the cloth-rack and the almirah. Then he looked
under the bedstead and ordered two constables “See what is in that, bring it
out.”
They
went under the bedstead, brought out a bundle covered with a blanket and seated
it in the middle of the room. As soon as the blanket slipped down, the Kaviraj
gave a start and cried “What’s this! Bipin!”
Next
day, as under the rules, Bipin became my charge as an under-trial prisoner. I
read the warrant and saw that his name was entered as Sanjay Chatterjee alias
Bipin Das. The charge against him was armed dacoity. The place of occurrence
was a big town in North India. The time was more than a year ago. I learnt of
somebody in a position of authority in the police that man was one of the
leaders of a notable political party with destructive aims. He was implicated
in more than one murder and dacoity. The police had chased him in usual course
but had been unable to get hold of him. Word went round suddenly that the
tailor named Salimaddi who had his shop at the junction of Kalu Daftari Lane at
Bowbazaar and was a brilliant cutter for trousers, was none other than the
renowned Sanjay Chatterjee. But the next day the shop was found closed and its
owner had disappeared overnight. Sometime later a spy brought in information
that the astrologer seated under the banyan tree at the criminal court at
Comilla who examined the litigants’ palms and determined their victory or
defeat and earned a decent sum out of prescriptions for amulets priced at five
annas and a quarter, was the newest edition of Sanjay. Even before the report
reached higher quarters, the astrologer had disappeared. At last the D. I. B.
at Chittagong got a report from a similar source that this much-sought-after
man had been staying for sometime as a servant at the house of Kaviraj
Sadananda Sen. A secret recommendation for giving him that job had been
received from the Kaviraj’s internee son and had been granted by his young
daughter.
The
police chief said: “The game was about to give us the slip this time too; it
has been caught simply due to the good luck of the Government. But we cannot
claim any credit for that. There are chains in the world harder than those the
police command. It was in those chains Sanjay Chatterjee got caught at last. We
are greatly indebted for that to Srimati Minu Sen.
“But”
I said, “I have got a sort of report that you have arrested the girl.”
“My
sub-inspectors wished to do that. But law is not everything. Policemen though we
are, the word gratitude figures even in our dictionary. So I told them, ‘if you
have anything to give Minu Sen it is not hand-cuffs but a bouquet of flowers.
Carry one and with folded hands say your thanks to her’.”
The
policeman looked a little obliquely at me and added, “None of them dares do it.
Why don’t you please do the bit of a job on our behalf? I hear, you visit them
fairly frequently Srimati Minu Sen is also said to be a great admirer of yours.
Congratulations!” The man gave my right hand a few shakes and made his exit.
However
he might have known in Government records, Bipin Das conducted himself in jail
as Bipin Das pure and simple. He wore his cloth raised up to his knee and
tucked up in his waist. He walked in bare feet, wore a rosary of the holy basil
in his neck. The gaze of his eyes showed a constant fear. He moved with his
hands folded before everybody from the jailor to the mate. It made Majid Khan,
the head Jamadar, split his sides with laughter. What sort of political accused
is this, he said. The police who had chased him, had probably nothing better to
do. To think that a fellow like this, committed dacoity, threw bombs, used pistols,
it was all nonsense.
Yet
Bipin had, in pursuance of the police report, to be kept in the cell-block.
There he executed small orders of sepoys and jamadars, broomed the yard, filled
up water-pitchers for all the rooms, washed clothes, brushed shoes, changed
beds and hung up mosquito curtains for the minor political Babus or other Babus
who had been placed in higher divisions. When the sepoys cast off their boots,
badges and headgears and enjoyed their midday relaxation, Bipin added to it
massage of their feet or whole bodies with his deft hands. Relaxation then
turned into pleasure and sleep followed.
Word
of that reached my ears and this happy sleep of the sepoy battalion caused my
sleeplessness. The more they ceased to worry about Bipin, the more my worry
increased. I knew and had seen enough and had enough sad experience to know
that this was the time-honoured modus operandi of the illustrious
persons of this category. This is the method by which they win over those under
whose control they are supposed to move and nobody knows when they someday
betake themselves silently away. Should something of that sort happen in this
man’s case–that is to say, should Sanjay Chatterjee scale the jail wall
someday, there is no doubt that my job also will go the same way. And should the
Government thus lose the treasure that they have procured after
so long a time and with so much trouble, they won’t let me go scot-free either.
So I took recourse to the man of authority I have already spoken of. I told
him: “This liability is really neither mine nor yours. How long will you impose
it on me? Why don’t send it to those to whom it properly belongs–at distant
Hardwar or Kanpur. I should then sleep soundly and consider myself saved.”
The
gentleman had a worried look and said, “Sleep has deserted me too, Mr.
Choudhury. I have had information that letters are being exchanged through a
secret channel.”
That
gave me a start and I said, “You don’t say so!”
“It
is really so. But it seems still to be one-sided. The boy is the writer and the
girl is the reader. When it will be the other way about–meaning, the girl will
assume the role of the writer, then there will be something to worry about.
Before that happens, the evil must be got rid of. I am sparing no pains to that
end. That much you please take to be a fact.”
Thoroughly
annoyed, I returned to the office and immediately sent for Bipin Das. He still
wore the mask of a stupid servant and with folded hands stood before the window
of my office-room. I got the Jamadar to leave the peace and said: “I took you
to be an intelligent man. But what’s all this you are doing, Sanjay Babu?”
Perhaps
he had not expected a forthright challenge like that. That was why he showed
some hesitation at first. But for a few seconds only. Then as I threw my gaze
at his face, I found that Bipin Das had faded out and Sanjay Chatterjee had
blossomed forth. He inclined his head a little on one side and with a soft
smile said: “I can’t quite follow you, Mr. Jailor.”
“You
can follow me very well. It is but a pretence at not understanding. You are
sinking and you may please yourself. Why are you drowning that girl along with
you? After all your path and hers are not the same.”
The
reply came in a calm, sombre tone: “I don’t want to answer this question today,
Mr. Choudhuri. I shall give the answer on the day on which I leave. All I say
to you today is that you should not worry at all. I have not done and will not
do anything that could cause you embarrassment or danger.”
There
is magic in the speech of some people, so we have read in stories. I had also
heard that some people spoke in a style that enchanted their hearers. That day
I had direct experience of both. I had, become displeased with Minu since the
events of the day have reported. Now suddenly I felt a sort of companion for
her.
Our
evening meetings at the Kaviraj’s parlour had automatically ceased that day.
There was no hope of their resumption either. I thought that relations between
ladies would take a similar turn. So I could not avoid being surprised when on
return from office one evening I found Minu and her aunt as deeply engaged in
conversation as before. But there was in her not the slightest trace of any
change. As soon as I entered the house, she burst forth in a sweet voice: “How
is it, uncle, I don’t meet you at all these days?”
I
could give no easy reply. I said in a faltering tone: “I have been having much
to do for some days now.”
“You
say so. What is it you have to do after evenings?”
I
did not answer that question and came over to the sitting room. Minu followed
me there. She came close to me and said, “Father has got very much depressed.
It won’t do for you to cease your calls like you have done.”
I
thought a little and said, “But, Minu, may I hope you aren’t angry with me?”
“How
is that? Why should I be angry?”
“Had
I had but an inkling of the truth……”
“So
what? You mean you won’t have asked me to get myself off the door. But,
uncle, you don’t know that that day you saved not only me but also the man the
police had come for.”
“I
saved you! You mean me!”
“Yes,
you, sure enough. Had I then my wits all right about me? I won’t have by any
means left the door unless you had asked me to. And that was exactly what the
policeman wanted.”
“What’s
this you say!”
“Yes,
it is true. I looked at those snake-like eyes of the man and realized it.”
“But
are you sure you didn’t make a mistake?”
“No,
uncle. That’s a matter in which no woman ever makes any mistake.”
I
became silent and went with my mind’s eye over the scene that day. Minu said:
“Please ponder a bit on what you or father or he to catch whom they had made
all those preparations, would have done when they laid their hands on me. You
cannot surely expect that even then he would have, without speaking, kept
himself hidden covered with a blanket under the bedstead. And then? Oh mother!
The very thought of it makes me shiver. The sub-inspector had a pistol in his
waist. He won’t have let such a big opportunity go waste.”
Minu
closed her eyes. Her whole body shook several times. I thought once of telling her:
“The destiny, the very thought of which in imagination, makes you shudder,
won’t be for him of the nature of an accident in life; it might come off at any
moment.”
But
as I looked at her pale face, I failed to give utterance to that
stern truth.
“Information
came a few days later that arrangements to send Bipin Das to Kanpur had been
finalized. The date and time were also settled. The day before he was to leave,
one of my officers came to me and said, “Bipin wants to see you.”
“That’s
all right. Please ask him to come.”
The
officer hesitated a little and said, “He wants to come unescorted. Perhaps he
wants to make a confession, one never knows. He is an accused in the big
Inter-Provincial case: please sound him a little, Sir. Should anything be
extracted out of him, a big reward might be expected.” I smiled and said,
“Should that come to pass, you won’t be deprived, Satish Babu.”
The
gentleman left. Happiness and avarice simultaneously gleamed in his eyes.
Bipin
placed on my table a letter enclosed in an envelope and said: “Here is the
reply to the question you asked the other day.” I passed my eyes over the
address and said, “How is that! I put the question and the reply is for Srimati
Minu Sen?”
“The
letter is for her. But before giving it to her you will please go through it
once. Haven’t you to censor letters from accused persons? Why don’t you do it
yourself in my case, Mr. Choudhuri?” so saying he burst into laughter.
I
put the letter in my pocket.
I
knocked at the Kaviraj’s parlour again. Many days had passed since I had last
done so. A new servant had been appointed.
“Whom
do you want?” he said.
“Anybody
will do.”
“Babu
is not at home.”
“The
miss must be at home. Call her.”
The
man passed his eyes over my whole body–glancing from top to toe, as they call
it in chaste language. At that very moment Minu came into the room.
“What
a surprise; Kaka Babu, when have you come? Please sit down, I am bringing tea.”
“Tea
will wait. There’s a letter for you.”
“Letter
for me ? Who gave it to you?”
“Read
and you will understand.”
I
handed over the closed envelope to her. No sooner had her eyes met the
handwriting, her brown features became red as if a solid quantity of vermillion
had been spread over it. She did not meet my eyes but went
inside.
Tea was brought by the servant. I
sipped it slowly and took ten minutes to finish the cup. I was about to get up
when she came. I noticed that she had just washed her face and eyes. With some
effort she showed off a pale smile in them, advanced the letter towards me and
said, “Have you read it?”
“This
is somebody else’s letter,” I said. “How can I read it without permission?”
“But
the writer himself has left the permission. Not merely permission but a
request. Please go through it. I shall be coming back right now”; so saying she
went out. I opened the letter and began to read:
“Minu,
The
other day you wanted to know what’s the mantram of our initiation. We
have but one mantram. Its first and last word is our country. The
individual has no reality for us, personal joys and sorrows have for us no
meaning. We have no ties, nothing to attract us. To look back is forbidden by
our guru. Still I am telling you about myself and if you want to know
the reason, you must read up to the end of this letter.
“I
lost my mother when I was seven. I had no brother or sister. I was brought up
in a stranger’s house amidst neglect. The tender aspect of the world where men
love and are loved, is unknown to me. I have been a revolutionary since
adolescence. The life I have chosen has only one appearance. It is stern of
duty, ruthless of resolution. Affection, love, mercy and compassion are to us
objects of ridicule. Woman is to us a symbol of weakness. She has to be
avoided; this is our creed.
“The
greater part of our lives has passed in hills, forests or under the open sky.
Action and action alone has been our occupation. Our days and nights have been
packed with heavy programmes. They were without a gap, compact like bricks.
Whenever on the road or astray we have come into the shade of homely life, we
have received from women heart-felt hospitality and eagerly provided shelter.
But they left no imprint on my mind. I have, in the words of the poet, left wayside
at the end of day or night whatever I got. This was the way of my life. It
changed when I came to your house. Do you know what I thought when I met you? I
thought that there had been a vacuum somewhere within me; it was now filled up.
I seemed I had been waiting all my life for what I now got. That was a supreme
treasure that redeemed all my poverty, filled all the void within me.
“Yet
I think, we should rather not have met. I am a revolutionary. My path is the
path of eternal destruction. There are on that path only blood, violence,
death. There is no room there for elixir of life. Your great gift has been
rendered there in vain just as showers of rain are wasted on a desert. With
what shall I accept what you have emptied your heart to give me? Where is the
receptacle in which I could keep what I have accepted with the palms of my hand
folded together?
“As
I have already told you, Minu, can one accept everything only by saying one would
accept it? It requires dedicated preparation. Such preparation has never been
mine. So I repeat before taking my departure what I have repeatedly told you–I
have no right to accept what you have without any regrets offered me, nor have
I earned the qualification necessary to give it its due value. It does not do
to covet what is not rightfully mine simply because I have got it without any
effort on my part. Let it all end here: this is the desire I communicate to you
before I go. I am leaving tomorrow.
“P. S. I requested Mr.
Choudhury to read the letter before handing it over to you. But he will
probably not do so. So give it to him after you have read it.
S”
That
was the end of the letter. Minu was not yet to be seen. So having nothing to do
I read the letter again. But she did not still come back. The next room was her
study. A wail seemed to reach my ears from there. Who was weeping? I pushed
open the intervening door which had been closed without being locked. Just in
front of me a girl lay desolate with her head perched the table. A mass of
black hair lay spread on the table covering the whole of it. Her body swayed
under the uncontrollable rush of emotions of stifled tears. It was not possible
to return the letter. I came out as silently as I had entered.
1
An Ayurvedic practitioner.
2
Literally, the Burmese-meaning a dare-devil, anarchic class of people.
3
Literally, gentleman: meaning, the educated middle class.
4
A district town of West Bengal
5
tea