THE GOD OF HOPE

(A Story but True)

JATINDRA MOHAN GANGULI

He hoped and ever hoped. Whatever came, whatever happened, whatever he achieved, gained and got, did not satisfy, did not fulfil his hopes, which stirred up and agitated him more and ever more. He worshipped his deity and prayed, he went to persons and persons, temples and temples, but his hopes did not subside. They excited and urged him to do this, try that, and seek means after means for their satisfaction.

Then in despair he thought that he must find out the god of hope, who should be able to give him all that he longed and fulfil all his hopes. If there was a god for every fancy, every desire every craving of man, there should be a god of hope also to satisfy man’s hope.

He set out in search of the god from place to place asking whomsoever he met about the god of hope and where he could be found. Then at one out-of-the-way place he saw a man sitting by a stream and looking beyond over the other bank. He went and stood behind him, uncertain if he should disturb and ask him. Finally, after a minute’s pause, he turned round to his front and asked:

“Will you please tell me, if you know, where I can find the god of hope?”

He did not stir to answer, but the hopeful man hoped to get the answer, the correct answer, from this quiet, wise-looking man who turned his glance on him and collecting his thoughts and attention pointed his finger across the stream to the other side. Joyously and hopefully the seeker of the god of hope went down to the stream which some fishermen with nets in their hands were fording. He went with them and crossed to the other side where he saw a thin foot track penetrating the wooded bank. With rising hope he proceeded with the incling evening sun behind him.

On and on he went and then emerged into an open, dry, rocky place. There was no tree here, no plant, no grass, but dry, lifeless sand and stones and rocks. So was the air dry and breathless. So was the sky dull and starless. So was everything around, still, dreary and dead. He felt uneasy, but hoped still to find and meet the good god of hope who would dispell his fear, and give him all that he desired, all that he loved to have, all that he needed, all that he hoped.

He steadied his steps and moved on. And then he saw a Figure seated on a boulder–but what a Figure was this! He shuddered and stopped a few steps away from him. It was a human skeleton wrapped by a thin skin that was pitchy black. His glowing sunken eyes sent a cold shiver down his spine. His hairless head, his white teeth shining between dry lips, his bony hands and long fingers edging in sharp nails, and the fearful contrast which his frightful figure made on the surrounding, over which was descending the shadow of the evening, shook him and he had an instant impulse to turn back and run. But hope revived in him again and advancing a few steps he timidly asked:

“Who are you, please? Do you know which way to go and where to find the god of hope?”

The Figure shrugged his shoulder, opened his skinny mouth and grinned. What an awful grin it was! He shrieked in terror, folded his hand and prayed for forgiveness. “If you are a ghost, forgive me for having come to your abode. Let me go.”

“No” the Figure said in dry shrill voice, “No, I am not a ghost. I am in life. I am the god of hope.”

Overwhelmed by what he heard he said:

“You are the god of hope! No, how can that be? If are the god of hope, the giver of all that one can desire and you have everything to satisfy your all needs, wish, desire hope, you should be the happiest, the healthiest, the brightest, loveliest, the most beautiful, the fullest, the richest, the king of kings, the god of gods. How can you be like this? I cannot understand. I cannot trust my eyes which see what I see, I cannot trust my ears which hear what you say.”

Again that Figure laughed, that fearful laugh which shook his bones as before.

“Yes, I was all that you say, but then as I hoped, and hoped more and pursued hope, I day by day lost all and became this. The hope that burnt in me burnt my skin to what it has become; it burnt the flesh of the body leaving the bones fleshlesss it burnt my inside and all that made life. And the Monster of hope lured and brought me to this place and left me perched on this rock. It has lured you also, I see. There is not a drop of water here to quench the flame that still smoulders within me. But now I understand. I have seen and known this Monster that comes to man in the form of hope to land him finally here in this state as it has landed me. I sit and have been sitting here, but I desire not, hope not any more for anything, even for a relief, for an escape from this dreadful place. For if I hope the Monster of hope will pounce on me again. I sit here gazing and looking, but expecting, desiring anti hoping for nothing to come to brighten the horizon. Let the night come and then the day and then the night again. I accept what comes and what goes with indifference, with unconcern. And as I have no expectation, no hope, I have no fear, no worry, no agitation and I feel calm and serene. I see the stars appearing, shining and disappearing. I see the sun and the moon rising and falling. I see life passing through changing weather, changing incidents and happenings. What can I do? They go their way, I have to go with them. Fear and worry do not help, they only bring more fear, more worry. From the pursuit of hope and from the search of means of satisfaction of hope I have turned back to the path of quiet ease and contentment, and in spite of what I appear to you my inside is now cooling and calming. I am restful, unexcited, unagitated. What comes I accept with ease and good humour and do not eagerly look to see what was behind it. I do not now run after hope, but have seized, overwhelmed and conquered it. I am now the master of that Monster. Yes, I am its master, I am the god of hope. So you be. Go back, turn back from the path that the lure of hope has brought you before that Monster makes you what it made me. Overpower and conquer hope. Accept what comes, what happens calmly, easily, without excitement, without fear, sorrow, disappointment. And then you feel no want, no need, no desire, for you become the master of all desires. You then have everything because you do not look for, wish for, crave for, hope for anything.”

He heard and stood silent for a while and then bowed to the god of hope and said:

“Yes, truly you are the god of hope. You have now understood and conquered hope. I shall do what you have said. I shall beat back that demon that has possessed me.”

He bowed again and turned back. “I shall not hope again. I shall not want, desire and wish and hope, for they are ever hungry, they are never satisfied” he said to himself as he walked away from the god of hope. The agitation in his mind subsided as he discarded his desires, hopes and expectations which had been raging in his mind, giving him no rest, no peace. He looked up meditatively to the stars in the heaven which shed soothing blessing on him, and he felt inside him a blissful happiness which he had never known, never felt before. And that peace, that happiness stayed, never shook, never faltered.

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