RANJINI
VERA
SHARMA
The
bride’s father and brother stood on the platform, while the bride and groom sat
shyly, side by side, within the railway carriage. She was crying, as befitted a
bride, and her mother-in-law tried to comfort her, as best she could, being a
stranger. It was nearly time for the train to start. Satyanarayan, the bride’s
father, stepped to the edge of the platform and stood by the window. It was
time for him to say his parting words.
“Remember,
daughter, you are no longer of our house. From now on you belong to your
husband’s household. The ties that bound us together are henceforth severed and
you must forge new ones. Do us honour by being a model wife and
daughter-in-law. Let there be no disgrace brought on our house at your hands. Farewell,
the train is about to start.” He turned away to hide his emotion.
Ranjini
was Satyanarayan’s favourite child. At this moment it broke his heart to be
parted from his sixteen-year old daughter. Yet, he felt that it was only with
harsh words that he could break this bond between them. From now on he would be
helpless. It would no longer be for him to heal her wounds or rejoice with her
as of old. He had to make it clear to her that it would be no use appealing to
him.
Ranjini’s
heart felt heavy, and her tears fell faster, splashing on to her wedding
ornaments. Through her tears she looked at her father’s beloved face and tried
to reassemble his blurred features. He had been both mother and father to her
since her mother’s death six years ago. She felt miserably forlorn as the train
started to move.
Within
the week after her arrival at her husband’s house an old aunt died. The house
was plunged into mourning. Many friends and relatives whispered among
themselves that the bride’s footsteps in the house had brought ill-luck. Her
mother-in-law was jealous of her. She loved her only son deeply and could not
tolerate the thought of having a rival in his affections. She took every
opportunity she could find to poison his mind.
“Mind
you, I am not saying this,” she would casually remark, “but people say that
your bride has brought us ill-luck. Only a week in our house, and a death
already.”
Her
son would listen to her without comment.
One
day it was decided that the young couple should pay a visit to a famous temple.
Ranjini was dressed in a beautiful blue sari with a wide gold border. Her
mother-in-law accompanied the pair. After they had said their prayers and
received prasad, they came down the temple steps. Under a large banyan tree, a
sadhu was seated in apparent meditation. Near him sat a disciple, also in
saffron robes. Wishing to receive the blessings of the holy man, the little
group stood respectfully in front of him.
After
a minute or two the Swamiji opened his eyes. He looked at the gaunt face of the
young man and at the bride’s youthfully round one. Then he turned to Ranjini’s
husband.
“You
are destined to be a great worker among the poor, young man. You will live a
hard life and practise many austerities. You must not let anything come in the
way of your work. The pleasures of this world are not for you. This is what I
see written on your forehead. Go, my son. My blessings be with
you.” He then closed his eyes and relapsed into meditation.
Vishnu, the young
husband, put his hand in his pocket for money, but the disciple stopped him.
“Guruji
will never take money,” he said. “Bring him fruit or milk or sweets, if you
wish, but not money.”
Vishnu
felt abashed, and the little group moved away. “Next time we must bring
something for the Swamiji,” he muttered to his mother.
His
mother was much impressed. To think that her son would be a great man one day.
She looked at his broad, smooth brow with admiration. It is a pity that his
wife is so fond of the worldly things of life, she thought.
After
her husband’s death, Vishnu’s mother renounced all the pleasures of the world,
and devoted herself to God and her son. She felt the young bride in the house
almost frivolous. Always looking at herself in the mirror and putting flowers
in her hair. Using scented hair oil and soap. She compared herself, as she was
now, with the young blossoming girl. My son will never be carried away by all
this, she said to herself, and her jealous heart gloated.
Ranjini
felt depressed in her new home. The smell of incense pervaded the atmosphere.
Even to look happy seemed a crime. Her husband took very little notice of her,
as her mother-in-law took care of most of his wants. Gradually she too became
morose. Her mother-in-law ruled the house, and Ranjini soon saw that in her she
had a formidable rival. Her husband seldom spoke to her, and only laughed at
his mother’s trivial remarks. She worked in the kitchen, helping her
mother-in-law, and her husband’s aunt, in the cooking and washing and cleaning.
About
three months after her marriage, Vishnu, who was always silent and rarely
spoke, said to her in passing, “Ranjini, I wish to have a talk with you
to-night, so I have asked mother to let you come to our room earlier, instead
of cleaning the kitchen after dinner.” He said it without a smile, and yet not
unkindly. Ranjini mutely nodded her head and passed on quickly. Her heart was
beating with a strange mixture of joy and fear, for she hardly
knew what to think.
That
night she waited in their room for him to come. She had
put fresh flowers in her hair and powdered her face. The vermilion spot on her
forehead glowed like a ruby in the half-light. He came in quietly and sat down
on the bed. Then he beckoned to her to come nearer. She stood before him with
downcast eyes, waiting for him to
speak.
“I
have decided to go to an Ashram where they are devoted to social work. This is
something I have long wanted to do. I expect that you will wish to accompany me
there, but I can only take you on the condition that you will also devote
yourself to rural uplift and live with me as a sister. You will have to learn
to live without luxuries. Eating only to live and not for pleasure. Dressing
only to be clothed and not for adornment. Thinking only of how you can serve
our country. If you do not wish to lead this life, then you may stay with my
mother in this house. Which would you prefer?”
She
stood silent for a moment. Then she remembered her father’s parting words, and
she whispered, “I will go with you.”
Vishnu’s
mother was not happy at her son’s decision. He had passed his M. Sc. with
distinction, and she had hoped that he would secure a post in the Science
Department in a local college. But what displeased her most was his decision to
take his wife with him. Who could tell how much that minx might not steal of
his love, which until now had been only hers. And yet, had not the Swamiji said
that he was destined to be a great social worker? Why should she try to stand
in his way?
Ranjini’s
husband rebuked her frequently. Why did she waste so much time dressing? Why
did she use all these scents and soaps? Must she put flowers in her hair? Must
she use powder? Why did she look so fat? Everyone knew that fat people could
not work hard. At first she was flattered that he paid her so much attention,
but gradually she began to realize that he was really dissatisfied with her.
She obeyed every whim of his uncomplainingly, in the hope that when they were
together, away from his mother, she would gain a little of his appreciation and
love.
Life
in the Ashram was not unpleasant. She toiled in the communal kitchen, while her
husband conducted literacy classes and taught the villagers how to live
hygienically. He worked with a fanatic zeal, but was no happier, and grew
thinner. He spent much time in meditation and prayers, and ate frugally once a
day. The fresh country air and the regular life suited Ranjini, but she felt
uneasy. Her husband hardly spoke to her, except to criticise her. He made her
join classes and supervised her studies. The most she would receive in return
was a commendation on her work, but never a word which indicated any deeper
feeling. He was highly critical of the Ashram’s inmates, and often decried them
for their frivolous behaviour in their leisure hours. He allowed himself no
recreation and studied far into the night, always rising before dawn. Often she
found him muttering to himself. Sometimes she found him gesticulating. She did
not know what to think. She became wan with anxiety, afraid to disclose his
strange behaviour to anyone.
About
six months after they had joined the ashram, she was awakened one night by a
strange sound. She looked up in amazement to see her husband tearing his shirt
and laughing loudly. He seemed unaware of her and went on with his strange
occupation, now muttering, now laughing. He looked wildly about him and gnashed
his teeth in rage. Again he would become quiet and then
laugh and chuckle. When he seemed most preoccupied, Ranjini cautiously edged
her way to the door. The oil tablelamp threw only a limited circle of light and
left the rest of the room in darkness. Once outside the door she ran in search
of someone who could help her. She knocked on the door of
the next hut, and while she was waiting, the silence of the
scented rural night hung about her like a cloak, almost smothering her with its
strangeness. When at last the inmates awoke and became conscious of her
knocking, she was very near fainting with fright.
They
went with her through the Ashram garden. All was still and dark. Only the
squeek of their sandals and the tap of their sticks broke the awe-inspiring
silence. No one spoke and she cried to herself. The hurricane lanterns which
they carried threw strange shadows, and here and there a rustle indicated that
a creature had been disturbed. The door of Ranjini’s hut stood wide open and
the light still burned. On the floor lay a shirt torn to shreds, but Vishnu was
nowhere. They searched and called all the rest of that night, but only the
sound of the rushing river nearby broke the stillness.
Next
day Ranjini was moved into another hut with other women workers. “Don’t be
afraid,” they said kindly. “He will return.
A
month slipped by, and there was no sign of Vishnu. He had not gone home to his
mother, and the police found no trace of him. Ranjini received a letter from
her mother-in-law, asking her to return home. The people at the Ashram also
felt that it would be best for her to go. She made the lonely journey by
herself. Vishnu’s uncle met her at the station and took her home. Vishnu’s
mother had still not overcome her grief and anxiety. She blamed Ranjini for the
misfortune.
“What
did you do to my son?” she would ask. “What have you gained by driving him mad?
Tell me, tell me. They were right. You have brought nothing but misfortune to
this house. I should have taken the warning when they said you were the cause
of Aunt Girja’s death. Oh, why hadn’t I taken heed? Why did I keep you here,
you creature of ill omen?” and she would beat her head on the floor and give
way to extravagant grief. She repressed the memory of that time, some years ago
when her son had lost his reason temporarily. It was the
shock of his father’s death, they had said then.
Time
moved on relentlessly, and soon a year had passed. Ranjini swallowed her grief,
the ill-treatment and the accusations. To whom could she turn? Had not her
father said that the bond was broken? She grew thin and pale. Nobody in the
house bothered much about her, except to make her work. Her mother-in-law would
remark, as if to herself: “I wonder that she can eat so heartily. Anyone else
in her position would have gone on fasts and done penance for their past sins.
Yet look at her, eating as if nothing has happened,” she would end, casting a
disdainful glance at the meagre portion of Ranjini’s plate.
Ranjini
started to cough in a queer apologetic way. Still no one took any notice of
her. Only Vishnu’s uncle spoke kindly to her. But how could he know what her
life was like in that world of women? In the night she would lie awake, and her
body would burn with fever. But she dared not complain. One day Vishnu’s uncle
noticed her cough, and asked his wife, “Has Ranjini seen a doctor? The girl has
become so thin and she coughs such a lot. You must ask my sister to take her.”
“These
modern girls,” said his wife, “are all sickly. What should be wrong with her?
After all, if she suffers it is only because of her sins. Why do you worry
about such a one as she?” When he saw his wife’s attitude he was shocked, but
he thought it wiser to appear unconcerned. Therefore he put it to her
differently.
“If
that girl has T. B., she could very easily infect us all,” he said, sternly.
His
wife was aghast. “Do you think that is what she has?” she asked. “It would just
be like one of her kind to bring more trouble to this house.”
She
took the very first opportunity of telling her sister-in-law, what
her husband suspected.
“This
very day I shall take her,” said Ranjini’s mother-in-law, “and if it is so, she
must leave this house immediately. How we have had to suffer because of this
girl. Even now it will mean such an expense.”
The
doctor confirmed what Vishnu’s uncle had suspected, and arrangements were made
for her in a sanatorium in the hills. She no longer cared
very much what was to become of her. She wished that her people would come and
take her home. But she knew that her poor old father lived in her brother’s
house, with the brother’s family. The latter hardly earned enough for the wants
of his own family, and would not welcome a sick sister who was neither a widow
nor a wife. She wrote formal postcards home in which she told them as little as
possible of her life. Their replies were equally formal.
The
sanatorium was situated on a hill. Apart from the main building there were a
number of cottages. They were one-storey structures with red tiled roofs.
Ranjini stepped out of the train at the small wayside station. Vishnu’s uncle
followed her and pulled her painted tin trunk and bedding-rollout on to the
platform. The station was actually little more than a tin shed, with a few
green painted benches on its two platforms. It was deserted, except for a cow
lazily munching at one end, and at the other, a stray dog snapping at flies.
“Tickets,
please,” said the ticket collector. Vishnu’s uncle fumbled in the inner pocket
of his coat, and after a slight pause handed them over. A little boy carried
her trunk and bedding-roll on his head. The ticket collector gave her a curious
glance. ‘Another inmate,’ he thought to himself as he watched them picking
their way up the path which led to the sanatorium. Ranjini turned back to look
at the departing train, but it was long since out of sight.
After
all the formalities were over, and she had been admitted, Vishnu’s uncle turned
to her before leaving.
“Ranjini,
I am sure they will take good care of you. Eat well, my child, and grow strong
again. We will all be waiting for your return. I will write to you from time to
time and tell you all the news. I will pray for Vishnu’s and your safe return.”
She
smiled wanly, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye with the end of her
sari. Ranjini knew that what he said was untrue. Who needed her? Who would
await her return? She watched his receding figure until it turned at the bottom
of the hill and was lost to view.
Ranjini
had no wish to get well. She was lethargic, and the sight of the ravages of the
disease all round her did not give her courage. She
declined rapidly, and spent long listless hours watching a withered tree some
distance from the window next to her bed. On this tree a large group of
vultures would sit, for not far from there was the burning ground and cemetery.
When a train passed they would rise in the air flapping their heavy wings,
before settling on a new perch with raucous cries. They were ugly birds with
naked necks. They sat and waited patiently for their dinner, hunched up in
gruesome, solitary meditation. ‘One of these days they will pick my charred
bones clean,’ Ranjini reflected.
She
turned her face to the wall, and in a flood of self-pity pictured the scattered
ash and bones that would be left to represent all her girlish dreams and hopes.
At that moment, a flicker of hope burned brightly and she felt a strange sense
of elation. Why should she die? She would live, she was young, and for an
instant she felt confident. But as it came, so it went, like a flame
extinguished, and again she relapsed into melancholy, as she thought of her
position. What had she to live for? With this thought her strength ebbed away.